Perspective

Well, today I got a little gentle, tugging, loving reminder from my sweet Lord.

Ohhh, how He teaches in such a gentle way, and I am so grateful for that. (Especially when I KNOW that I deserve the "club over my head method!")

This afternoon, I was at the school park ( as I am almost everyday,) and continued observing and taking mental notes of the various moms, their kiddos, their nannies.... you get the idea.
Soon, I was having sweet converstaions with three sibblings ( whom I enjoy watching regularly.) They are 4, 3, and 1 years old. Eventually their mom came over, introduced herself (Christina), and we began to chat. We talked about where we both lived, kids, family, school, etc etc..
Suddenly, our conversation changed and we began talking about having more babies. She said that she would "love some more, but her husband had died."

Anguish just ran through me. I sat there and saw her, as she ( all of 35 years old) held back the tears and began to tell me how he died just 15 months ago from cancer. Her babies were then seven months, 22 months, and three and half years old.
She shared with me her feelings of despair, fear, feeling that she too had wanted to die, and longing deeply for her husband.

I asked her if she now had help and support, and she did say she was lucky to have 2 full-time helpers that stay at her home, as she also works. She also said that she has his family and her family that live minutes away.

As I left the park, and looked forward to us chatting again very soon, I was suddenly burdened with two heavy feelings in my heart.
The first, was thinking about all the times that I take my own sweet husband for granted. All the times I take God for granted in assuming I will have JB forever....
I thought of Christina, and wondered if a mere two years ago she would have ever imagined that she would be a widow at 35 years old, raising her very young family on her own?

The other heart burden I had, was a reminder of my own critical thoughts I at times, have had.

You see, I have seen Christina for a while now at this park. I have seen her with her 3 babies, along with these two nannies that she told me about. I have had thoughts, over the time, of her being mabey "just a bit spoiled, as she has help, she has a nanny, she doesn't have to take her kids to the park alone, or she can get the nanny to go and change the diaper, she can let the nanny hold the baby while she visits with friends, etc etc..

I was reminded that its not MY place to see people and judge who they are, what they do, what their circumstances appear to be, or what they possibly could have (or are going) through.
I never imagined that she, Christina , was leaving this park day after day to go home alone, and yes, although she may in fact "have a nanny or two", she has been through something far greater in pain than many who have lived a lifetime have gone through.

May God bless her and her three beautiful children. May He give her strength and mercy in raising them for His glory.
May He also continue to teach me how to love and appreciate my husband daily. Also, to see His people as He would want me to see them, from His loving and non-judging perspective.

Love,
Jenny