Job 1:21

Well, I am sharing with you an experience I am going through, Job1:21, and how God has shown me love beyond understanding through this verse.

I really wish I could say,
"Ohh, yes..... since day one of this ordeal, ohhh...... about 5 weeks ago ( tomorow)....I embraced this verse. I sure do wish i could say that. (But I do advocate honesty here..) :)


So, being the selfish and terribly slow learner I am, I am s-l-o-w-l-y learning something,


In Pain, there is joy!



That is God's promise.

Many of you know that 5 weeks ago, our beloved English Cocker Spaniel (Jollie) went missing ( he had been staying with friends during a 5 day trip we were on, and got out the day we returned.)

Here is about the time that my learning curve started......

That same evening, as we were going to pick him up, we got the call and frantically started looking. That turned into a 6 hour search the first night.
I went up and down the dark streets in the village of Santiponce, with a kind older man, who had joined me (Feli).
I sobbed, called out for our Jollie, and prayed continually.

I worried... You know "where was he, with whom, how could this be happening, where would he be sleeping ( he always slept with us,) would he get dinner tonight, or breakfast in the morning, would "they" know he likes to sleep upside down, would "they " know that when I wake up at night he would be ever so loyal and get up with me, everytime, would "they" know that in the morning, that as I made the bed, he would run up and sit on the blankets, so I couldnt spread the bed?"

You dog lovers know, the typical questions that come to mind as the panic sets in.......Ohhh, it hurt.

It was so strange that night. Here I was in a very intimate moment, very heartbroken, hardly able to speak, sobbing, and all the while sharing it side by side with a total stranger.
Feli, was really at a loss of words ( he is a man remember.......And you can imagine, traditional Spanish older man, young crying girl.... well, uncomfortable for him to say the least...)
What I knew is that he cared and was there with me.


God continued to be so gracious to me during this time. I would seek Him and solitude (and sometimes for us Mommies, there is not alot of "solitude" time.) So, to achieve this, I would take the kiddos to the park. I would swing on the swings and sing "Blessed Be Your Name" over and over. It was if God had put that sweet hymn in my head to give me all the comfort I needed to know of His presence. And It did!

Well, it is now 5 weeks later. We still havent found our Jollie.

We continue to do almost all we can do, as we have these past weeks. We call vets, drive for hours, talk to many, hang hundreds of signs, pray non stop,etc... We also have had the support and help of many sweet friends and calls and emails from family , and that has meant so much.


I am now, by God's grace, at a more peaceful place> A place where I still pray daily (and often) for Jollie , continue to drive and hang signs every few days etc.. But I can go ( almost!) an entire day without crying.

We still remain hopeful.

But , my hope is in my God. I feel like I have been partially broken through this, and for that I am so thankful. I am thankful that my God loves me enough to see me through the unknown, the hurt, pain, and yet give me a sense of joy that can come from no other!

So, today, I began where I started, Job 1:21

"The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away. Blessed be the name of the Lord."


For me, for now, I am grateful that the Lord gave us ( for almost 5 years) our precious and adored Jollie. We miss him terribly.

I also know that for now, the Lord saw fit to "taketh away" and I will choose to praise Him.


So..... today, I did it! For one of the very first times in my life, I felt real joy right in the middle of real pain! I went and I put on Rebecca Saint Jame's Cd, and played "Blessed Be Your Name."
And there, in my little living room, I held up my hands to God, crying, smiling, and singing to Him:

Blessed Be your Name

In the land that is plentiful
Where your streams of abundance flow
Blessed be your name
And blessed be Your name
When I'm found in the desert place
Though I walk through the wilderness



Blessed be Your name
Blessed be Your name
When the sun's shinning down on me
When the world's all as it should be
Blessed be your name

Blessed be your name
On the road marked with suffering
Though there's pain in the offering
Blessed be your name

Every blessing you pour out I'll
turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in Lord
Still I will say


Blessed be the Name of the Lord
Blessed be your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be your glorious name



You give and take away
You give and take away
My heart will choose to say
Lord, blessed be your name!


( Rebecca St James Live Worship Cd)

Love, Jenny